


Equivalency

by kotosk (Kotosk)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al has zero chill, Dragon Pulse, Ed gets his alchemy back, M/M, Pre-Slash, QI, human sacrifices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27445012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotosk/pseuds/kotosk
Summary: “It’s even worse than I thought,” admits Ling. He walks to Al, pulls another chair and sits in it heavily. “And if I’m perfectly honest, I don’t know how he’s still alive.”
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 11
Kudos: 142





	Equivalency

Al steps off the train, closing his eyes as he feels the warm breeze on his face. The fact that he actually has a face still fills him with wonder even three years after Ed managed to bring his body back. Spending a full year in Xing has left him with many skills he hasn’t had before, and the most valuable of them is the Dragon’s Pulse which May told him about years ago. After finally having obtained the ability to sense other people’s qi, Al entertained himself by constantly tracking people around him, practicing until it felt natural. If he concentrates, he can still feel people on the train who are heading further West. 

His train had arrived earlier than scheduled, so Ed and Winry aren’t yet here to meet him as they’d planned. Al tightens his grip on his suitcase and starts walking towards Winry’s house, leaving the empty station behind. 

Resembool surrounds him with lush green fields and the rich blue sky, and all exotic beauty of Xing can’t compare to the feeling of finally being home. After a few minutes of walking down the narrow path he spots two people coming his way, and even from afar Al can see two shades of blond hair. 

As he quickens his pace he suddenly gets a feeling that something isn’t right, but he can’t figure out what. When there are only a few steps left between them Al drops his suitcase and runs into Ed and Winry.

They both crash into him, forcing the air out of his lungs. As he wraps his hands around them, Al can’t help but feel horror slowly creeping up his spine as he tries to sense Ed’s qi and finds only a weak pulse of energy, almost insignificant next to the bright, fiery burn of Winry’s. When they finally let him breathe again, Al looks properly at Ed, noticing faint darkness under his eyes and overall paleness. 

They give him worried looks as he tries to understand what exactly he’s sensing. His brain refuses to correlate Ed standing in front of him with the lack of qi. 

He shakes himself out of it, smiling at them again and asking them how they’ve been. The way home is filled with stories about Xing and about what happened in Resembool while Al was away. Ed stays quiet for most of it, his hand is cool in Al’s grip as if he got cold under the summer’s sun. 

****

After lunch Ed lies down on the couch and is out like a light. Al helps Winry clean the table and stays in the kitchen to towel off the dishes Winry washes. He wipes another cup dry before gathering his thoughts.

“Is Ed okay?” 

Winry glances at him, looking just as worried as he feels. 

“He’s been like this for a while now, getting tired easily and sleeping for most of the day, but it’s gotten worse this month. He didn’t even react when I told him Mustang called.” 

The way she says Mustang’s name clearly implies Ed’s not that subtle crush on his CO hasn’t been unnoticed by her either.

“You know?” He asks, somehow surprised.

Winry just shrugs.

“How could I not? Every single maintenance it was Mustang this and Mustang that. I’m not going to ask how you know. In person this must’ve looked even more obvious, and there’s no one in the world who knows Ed better than you.”

The fact that Ed talks in his sleep also helped, Al muses.

He excuses himself after they’re done with the dishes and practically runs to the post office where he explains the situation as succinctly as possible in a telegram to Xing. 

He gets his answer two days later and it consists of just four words: ‘bring him here asap.’

****

That evening he catches Ed before he can pass out on the couch and drags him to the kitchen table. Ed follows him without a question, and the dread Al feels gets heavier. 

“Ed,” he starts. “We need to get you to Xing.”

Ed just stares at him, not really reacting. Al notices the dark shadows under his eyes that shouldn’t be there with how often Ed is sleeping.

“Why?”

Al takes a breath. 

“Remember how Ling told us that dragon pulse is basically life energy?” After getting a nod from Ed, he continues. “I can barely sense yours. Ling might know what happened to you.”

“Nothing has happened.”

“So you sleep most of the day just for the fun of it?”

Ed doesn’t deny it. He does eye the table like he considers taking a nap on it.

Al really didn’t want to bring that up, but it seems like he must. 

“Ed, I’ve only sensed a qi so weak in dying people.”

Ed still doesn’t look impressed. At last, he shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. “Well, it’s only equivalent. I did pay for you having a normal life, after all.”

Winry, who’d been standing in the doorway the entire time, suddenly moves, and the resounding slap makes Al wince in sympathy. 

“If I ever,” Winry slowly begins, “hear this shit again, I will kill you myself. You are not going to mope around while there is a possible solution in Xing. I will see you both at the train station this evening, and your bags will be packed. Am I clear?”

Ed blinks up at her, cradling his cheek and obviously shocked by the force of the slap, looking more awake than Al has ever seen him since he’s come home. He opens his mouth, trying to find words, but Winry beats him to it.

“Am. I. Clear.” Al can’t see her face, but judging by the way Ed blanches it’s rather expressive. 

****

Winry does see them off at the station like she promised. Al waves at her, then jabs his elbow into Ed’s ribs so he would do the same.

Their compartment is empty, so they’re sitting together in comfortable silence. 

“Ling would be happy to see you,” Al says after a while. “He mentioned that time you spent together before the Promised day quite often.”

Ed lets out a soft hum, watching the fields go by as they head East, the sky crimson with the sunset. 

“Did he mention how completely insufferable he was, especially combined with Greed? They both wouldn’t shut up about how lonely they were without any girls nearby.” 

Ed chuckles, rubbing his eyes. “Well, at least he hasn't managed to corrupt you.”

Alphonse wisely decides not to mention the thing between him and Ling. Or him and Lan Fan. Or him and about a dozen of young men and women who frequently happened upon his chambers while he lived at the royal palace. 

Ed lies down and rests his head on Al’s lap, just like he used when they were travelling together across Amestris. The difference now is that Al can feel his warmth, can bury his hand into golden strands and feel them slide between his fingers, can feel his thighs go numb beneath his brother’s sleeping head. That, and Ed doesn’t seem so tiny anymore. Al closes his eyes and tries not to focus on the way Ed’s qi flickers even more as he falls asleep in mere minutes. 

****

The trip from the Imperial train station to the royal palace is familiar and uneventful. Ed looks around with the kind of calm, lethargic curiosity Al has never seen in him, forcing him to grip Ed’s hand harder and quicken their pace to a brisk gait. Ling meets them on the steps of the royal palace, and while his expression is unreadable, Al clearly feels worry in his qi. 

Later in the evening Ling slides in his room without knocking, and while that in itself isn’t unusual, the reason is. Al puts the book he was reading down and turns to him expectantly.   
“It’s even worse than I thought,” admits Ling. He walks to Al, pulls another chair and sits in it heavily. “And if I’m perfectly honest, I don’t know how he’s still alive.” 

Ling sends him an apologetic look when Al inhales sharply. He could tell something is really wrong with Ed, but he’s been hoping that he’d made a mistake, and that things weren’t as bad as he thought. It hurts to think that things are actually _worse_. 

“What’s wrong with him?” he finally asks. 

Ling waves his hand, face grim.

“That’s the thing, we can’t tell. Su Yun looked him all over and physically he is fine, but his qi is dying off, as if his soul can’t keep itself in his body.” Ling sets his eyes on him. “Kinda like you felt, actually, when I first met you in that armor.”

Al tips his head back, thinking. Winry told him she’d noticed something off with Ed a few months after he left for Xing, and now that Al thinks about it, some of the symptoms had been present even during his recovery. The way Ed looked completely lost, sometimes, the way he looked tired even though he was sleeping more each night than he had since he was eleven. 

Back then Al had figured it was the aftershock of losing his alchemy and that seeing new countries would help Ed and things would get better. And it was clear now that things had not in fact got better.

Al feels his eyes widen as he thinks about alchemy. Ed told him he sacrificed his Gate, but how much space does the Gate take in a person’s soul? 

Suddenly Ed’s behavior makes much more sense. If a larger part of his soul is trapped behind the Gate, then it calls the rest to become whole again, the same way Al’s body was pulling at the seal holding his soul in the armor. 

Al shudders, remembering the way the call was becoming stronger with each passing year, and while body and soul are interconnected, they still are separable. Al tries to imagine the pull of a split soul and feels cold dread at the thought that there was a very real possibility that only Winry would have been around to meet him at the train station. 

Ling waits patiently as he watches realization bloom on Al’s face. 

“He sacrificed a part of his soul when he got my body back,” whispers Al. “That’s why his qi doesn’t function as it should, there isn’t enough soul in his body.”

Ling swears in Xingese, far too eloquent for Al to pick up even after a year spent studying the language. Al understands anyway. When Ling’s done he rubs his face tiredly.

“This shouldn’t be possible, I swear to gods.” He looks up at Al again. “Can you reverse this?”

Al spent many evenings, back in Resembool before he traveled to Xing, thinking of ways to bring Ed’s alchemy back, because it simply wasn’t fair. Many things in their lives were unfair, but Ed created as he breathed, and his loss has crippled him far more than missing limbs. But no matter how hard he tried, the only possible solution he’d been able to think of was human transmutation, and Ed had made him promise he wouldn’t ever risk his new body like that. 

Al opens his mouth, but Ling beats him to it. “That’d be a human transmutation, right?” He shrugs at Al’s surprised look. “What? We spent a lot of time together and the only topic Ed really talks about is either you or alchemy, so I picked up a few things.” 

Al snorts, amused almost in spite of himself, and Ling continues. “I can get you people on death row to serve as a payment for your alchemy god.”

Al wants to correct him, but then stops. “How many people?” he hears himself ask.

“As many as you need,” Ling holds his eyes. “I suggest nine, it’s an auspicious number.”

Nine people. Dear god. Ed would never forgive him.

On the other hand, he would much prefer an unforgiving, living Ed rather than a dead Ed. 

“Can you do this?” Ling asks, softly. 

“Yes,” Al answers simply. He knows he’s breaking many promises to his brother, not in the least his promise to never use a philosopher's stone, because that’s exactly what this will be. It doesn’t really matter if the souls are contained outside or still are inside of people. When they made their promise he firmly believed that Ed would find another way, and he had, even though they hadn’t realized what the price would be. But he is not his brother; he may be as smart as Ed, but he just doesn’t have his genius for alchemy, and he certainly doesn’t have the time to try and find a different solution. 

He’s not about to let his brother die and if this is what it takes, then he’s ready to face the consequences. 

Decision made, he nods to Ling. They get up.

“I’ll have everything ready by tomorrow morning. The room you practiced alkahestry in will do, I suppose?” Al nods and Ling briefly hugs him before turning to the door. Al follows him. 

The night is short and he has a pretty big array to draw.

****

The alkahestry room is dimly lit and spacious. Al walks around the array one last time, making sure every symbol is in its place. Nine people are sitting in the middle, paralyzed, and Al carefully ignores them so he doesn’t lose concentration. Su Yun patiently watches him, waiting for the aftermath of the transmutation to make sure they both survive it in case something goes wrong. Al glances at the clock and takes a deep breath. 

Ling enters first, nodding at Al as he goes, and Ed follows him inside. He looks around, raising his eyebrows at the amount of people in the room as he walks towards Al.

“Always knew you had a weird-” Ed finally looks down and his eyes widen. Al can’t help but feel impressed that it only took his brother a split second to recognize the array in the weak light. “Hold on-”

Ling doesn’t leave him a choice as he shoves Ed right across the lines of the circle, and the second Ed’s in, Al claps his hands and touches the array. 

Al closes his eyes as pure whiteness blinds him for a moment. It feels viscerally wrong to be in this place again after he spent years existing in both dimensions, and the way his Truth grins at him doesn’t help either. No one else is here, just him and the choices he’s made. 

“Didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Alchemist,” it says in Al’s voice and Al tries not to tremble. 

He fails.

“I came for my brother’s Gate,” he finally says. “Make his soul whole again. I brought nine souls to pay.”

Truth stops smiling and just studies him for a few long seconds. Al straightens up, unwilling to back down. He can hear his own rapid heartbeat in the absolute silence around them, and it takes him a lot of effort not to collapse and curl up on the floor from the sheer _wrongness_ of being there. At last, Truth raises its hand and Al feels the space around him contorting as another Gate appears behind his back. Al turns away from Truth and Ed is here, looking as lost as he probably feels. 

“Done,” he hears Truth say, grinning again.

“What-” Ed begins to say and then reality goes black so fast that for a split second Al thinks Truth has taken his eyesight in addition to the souls. 

“-the fuck,” he continues, flat on his back in the middle of the array. Al, still crouching in the outer circle, feels a drop of sweat sliding down his neck, both from exhaustion and apprehension. He feels fine, Ed seems okay, his qi is much, much stronger than it was but he can’t be sure until Su Yun looks at them both. Ed gingerly sits up, checking himself for missing limbs. When he finds he’s still in one piece his eyes turn on Alphonse and Al realizes two things at the same time: his brother is back alright and he is _furious_.

“You little shit,” snarls Ed and jumps on his feet only to get tackled down by Lan Fan. “Let me fucking go, I’ll fucking kill him-” Ling joins Lan Fan and deftly pins Ed’s arm to his back, holding him with his entire weight, and even between the two martial artists it’s hard to keep Ed down when he’s really fighting. 

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do this,” replies Ling, his tone a bit strained as he puts more of his weight on Ed’s back. “I’m too fond of Alphonse to let you kill him, you see.”

For once in his life Ed manages to read between the lines and it shocks him into stillness for a few seconds. Then he fights his way up with redoubled strength, clearly ready to strangle Ling as well, his qi burning bright and strong and full of rage.

Su Yun steps into the array, and Al quickly smudges the outer lines, breaking it. He rests his hand on Ed’s head, not bothered at all by the storm Ed is swearing up and his Emperor and his bodyguard currently sitting on him. Nodding to himself, he comes to check on Al as well. 

“Is he okay?” asks Al while the alkahestry rushes through his blood.

Su Yun nods, helping him get up. “Everything seems to be fine.”

Al doesn’t bother hiding his relieved sigh. He looks at the group struggling on the floor. 

“Ed, I need you to test your alchemy. Ling, let him go.”

“Are you sure?” Ling asks, eyeing Ed like he’s a wild animal.

“Of course, I know Brother would never hurt me,” Al lies, flashing his most charming smile at them. Ed is still glaring at him, but not as murderously as before. After a few seconds he huffs and jerks his shoulder, trying to get Ling off his back.

Ed slowly gets up, rolls his shoulders, wincing, then brings his hands together and claps. Alchemical energy builds up in a bright blue light, illuminating the room brighter than the candles. It lights up Ed’s eyes as well. 

****

“I’m still kicking your ass for that,” Ed says. “What were you even _thinking?_ ”

“That you were dying and I really didn’t want that to happen?” Al answers as they walk through a sun lit hallway, their steps echoing in the vast space. 

“And that I would be devastated if you did die,” Al adds because he also really doesn’t want that ass kicking. “Among with other people.”

Ed winces at that. “Please.”

“Don’t be like that, Ed,” Al says. Tiny specks of dust gently swirl in the rays of light as they pass the massive windows of the palace. “There are plenty of people who would be upset if you were gone. Me, Winry, all our friends in Central.” 

He pauses. “Mustang.”

Ed doesn’t grace him with a reply but the blush on his face tells Al all he needs to know.


End file.
